Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin
Demetri Evan Martinis an American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist. He is best known for his work as a stand-up comedian, being a contributor on The Daily Show, and his Comedy Central show Important Things with Demetri Martin...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 May 1973
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
love-is
Love is, and I hope it never isn't.
girl bulletproof-vest sweaters
A lifevest protects you from drowning and a bulletproof vest protects you from getting shot, and a sweater vest protects you from pretty girls.
nicknames example want
Cottonballs are an example of something I'd want to buy, but not have as a nickname.
world wonderful futons
Futon World - a wonderful place that becomes slowly less comfortable over time.
games people different
Hot Potato is a very different game when the people playing are starving.
hands numbers broke
I bought a clock, but the big hand broke off of it... so I just added "ish" to every number.
sleep pairs causes
I bought a new pair of pajamas with pockets, which is great, cause now i don't have to hold things when I sleep.
needs
I need to develop some patience - immediately.
thinking fire would-be
I think a bad place for a fire would be the factory where they make those trick candles.
writing interesting people
Siamese twins are interesting because they are the only people who can write a biography and an autobiography at the same time.
children differences location
The difference between a child's toy and an adult toy is: location, location, location.
pie no-respect clown
Clowns have no respect for pie.
pie mouths faces
If someone throws a pie at your face, just open your mouth really wide and say, 'Thanks for feeding me, a**hole.'
men unreliable
I am a man of my word… and that word is “unreliable.