David Letterman
David Letterman
David Michael Lettermanis an American former television talk show host, comedian, and producer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth12 April 1947
CityIndianapolis, IN
CountryUnited States of America
talking air feelings
About half an hour before air time - that's when I become hyper. I put everything else out of my mind and just let that nervous energy surge through my body. I start talking faster and louder. My confidence comes up. It's actually a great feeling.
airplane president celebrate
Former President Bush, to celebrate his 80th birthday, jumped out of an airplane. And if you've seen the polls, you know he's not the only Bush in freefall.
nike fire air
Did you hear about this genius that got on a plane and set fire to his feet? Turns out he had bombs in his shoes and the problem all started when the flight attendants asked him nicely to extinguish his feet. He was wearing exploding sneakers. The new Nike Air-Jihads!
dad hockey airline-security
I just heard George W. Bush's new plan for airline security. From here on out, every plane will now have its own hockey dad.
inspirational holiday airports
Airport screeners are now scanning holiday fruitcakes. Not even the scanners can tell what those little red things are.
brother new-york airplane
There was a flight from Cleveland to New York City with just two people on board. There hasn't been two people on an airplane since the Wright brothers.
worst-enemy airline passengers
United Airlines: Passengers are our worst enemy. We're not too fond of luggage either.
comedian horrible one-thing
All comedians are preoccupied with one thing and with one thing only-themmm-selllves. It's a horrible lot in life.
jerk disappointing admire
It's disappointing when you finally get to meet someone you admire and he conducts himself as a jerk.
prison be-good shipwreck
I'm very resourceful. I'd be good in prison. I'd be good in a shipwreck. I'd make a great hostage.
dark night drunk
Night clubs scare me. They're dark and they stink and they're dangerous and everybody's drunk.
jobs fun beer
I knew that if I woke up hung over, I couldn't do the best possible job on the show, so I had to quit. Also, I'd consumed a lot of beer for a lot of years, and I thought, That's enough. I've had my fun and I'm glad I quit.
thinking paris iraq
A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a threat. For example, France wants more evidence. And you know I'm thinking, the last time France wanted more evidence they rolled right through Paris with the German flag.
mean years bob
I'll be 50 years old tomorrow and that means, among other things, that now Bob Dole can start telling jokes about me.