David Letterman

David Letterman
David Michael Lettermanis an American former television talk show host, comedian, and producer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth12 April 1947
CityIndianapolis, IN
CountryUnited States of America
prison be-good shipwreck
I'm very resourceful. I'd be good in prison. I'd be good in a shipwreck. I'd make a great hostage.
dark night drunk
Night clubs scare me. They're dark and they stink and they're dangerous and everybody's drunk.
talking air feelings
About half an hour before air time - that's when I become hyper. I put everything else out of my mind and just let that nervous energy surge through my body. I start talking faster and louder. My confidence comes up. It's actually a great feeling.
jobs fun beer
I knew that if I woke up hung over, I couldn't do the best possible job on the show, so I had to quit. Also, I'd consumed a lot of beer for a lot of years, and I thought, That's enough. I've had my fun and I'm glad I quit.
thinking paris iraq
A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a threat. For example, France wants more evidence. And you know I'm thinking, the last time France wanted more evidence they rolled right through Paris with the German flag.
mean years bob
I'll be 50 years old tomorrow and that means, among other things, that now Bob Dole can start telling jokes about me.
storm middle-east caught
So they caught Gadhafi in a storm sewer and shot him. Or as they call it in the Middle East, an orderly transfer of power.
black juggernaut election
The Democrats were crushed in the midterm elections. The Republican juggernaut pounded the Democrats, and the pundits say they will not really know what happened to the Democrats until they find the black box.
thinking fake may
Rick Perry is now saying he thinks that Barack Obama's birth certificate is fake. I think Perry may have faked his driver's license.
guy presidential today
Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling ya, this guy is presidential material.
goodbye russia alaska
Now how about this, ladies and gentlemen? The Governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, has announced she is stepping down. She will no longer be the Governor of Alaska. First thing, she woke up and went out on her porch and waved goodbye to Russia.
winning campaigns election
Are you excited about the recall election? Arnold's campaign has a new slogan: 'Win one for the groper.'
night people trials
How many people saw Arnold's speech last night? I haven't seen that many Kennedys in one place since their last trial.
sex men california
Arnold Schwarzenegger is now governor of California. He is a very shrewd man - he already has all of his sex scandals behind him.