Daniel Tosh
Daniel Tosh
Daniel Dwight Tosh is an American comedian, television host, actor, writer, and executive producer. He is known for his deliberately offensive and controversial style of black comedy, as the host of the Comedy Central television show Tosh.0 and as the star of stand-up comedy tours and specials...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth29 May 1975
CityBoppard, Germany
CountryUnited States of America
expression hail yeah
I came up with my own expression. I like to make it hail. Yeah. That's when you throw change on sluts.
soccer kids punishment
I've always thought having a kid that played soccer would be the worst punishment. After watching 3 min of water polo I stand corrected.
acceptance awful sense-of-humor
You can accept that things are awful and still have a sense of humor about it.
fun games metallica
It's all fun and games until someone gets a boner.
funny people firsts
Here's what I tell people now when they come to my shows: 'First of all, thank you for stimulating the economy, or at least my economic package.'
america crystals common
The only thing surfers have in common with the rest of America is they're unemployed and they love crystal meth.
workout media important
The most important part of any CrossFit workout is posting about it endlessly on social media. How about you just brag about all the kettlebell burpees you did to the other whackos in your cult?
school people drug
High school is just like glee, a bunch of people dying of drug overdose.
new-york crash planes
How come New York gets all the cool plane crashes?
dog cat world
The only thing better than the world's cutest cat is any dog.
men perfect looks
Describe your perfect man who looks like me...
funny stupid struggle
Don't you love it when people in school are like, “I'm a bad test taker”? You mean, you're stupid. Oh, you struggle with that part where we find out what you know? Oh. No, no, I can totally relate. See, because I'm a brilliant painter, minus my God-awful brushstrokes. Oh, how the masterpiece is crystal up here[points to head], but once paint hits canvas, I develop Parkinson's.
letting-go sports running
I think pro-athletes should be forced to use steroids. I think we as fans deserve the greatest athletes science can create! Lets go! Anything that will make you run faster, jump higher! I have High-Definition TV! I want my athletes like my video games! Lets go! I could care less if you die at 40. You hate life after sports anyways. I'm doing you a favor.
i-love-him bills hicks
Bill Hicks is a huge influence. I love him.