Bill Engvall
Bill Engvall
William Ray "Bill" Engvall, Jr. is an American comedian and actor best known for his work as a stand-up comic, his signature "Here's Your Sign" bit and as a member of the Blue Collar Comedy group...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth27 July 1957
CityGalveston, TX
CountryUnited States of America
asked came car coat gonna guy hang keys lock mall standing stop stupid washed
I came out of the mall one day, and a guy was standing there with a coat hanger in his window, and I couldn't stop myself. I asked the stupid question. 'You lock your keys in the car?' 'Nope, just washed it, gonna hang it up to dry.'
stupid ties wife
My wife and I had an argument last week that was so stupid, that it bears repeating. My wife collects twist ties...welcome to my world.
stupid drunk riding
I swear to you, I am the cheapest drunk on the planet. It takes nothing to get me loopy and doing stupid stuff. Yeah. Some of you like that? Well... like riding an electric floor buffer for a shot of tequila. Did it!
stupid hate should-have
I just hate stupid people. They should have to wear signs that say 'I'm Stupid.' That way you wouldn't rely on them, and you wouldn't ask them for nothing.
mom stupid kids
I want you to think back to when you were a kid. Remember the day you learned you could burn ants with a magnifying glass? Oh, what a great day that was! You got to be God. You decided who lived, who died. I must've burned ants for an hour, just laughing. Then I saw one on my arm. Let me tell you something, when you burn yourself with a magnifying glass, you're on your own. You can't even tell your mom, because she gives that face, Oh, he is that stupid.
bullets pull trigger
I think you can ban guns if you can just pull the trigger and 60 bullets fire out.
favorite good great laughter love
I love to laugh, and laughter is one of my favorite things. When you have a really good laugh, you feel great afterwards.
love takes
I love stand up, but every year, the road takes a little more out of you.
car flipping goes guys hang stick time
I like to hang on to cars. I'm not one of these guys that goes flipping cars all the time. If I find a car I like, I stick with it.
time
I haven't been really nervous about a gig in a long time.
people
I have fun on stage, so people think maybe they should, too.
eat great healthier love vegetables
I eat fish, chicken, vegetables and other healthier foods. I do love a great steak.
acting dramatic funny kevin love
I dream of acting with Kevin Costner. I would love to do a movie with him. Not something funny, but a dramatic role.
celebrity time
I don't have big time celebrity friends - I'm just a guy.