Bill Engvall
Bill Engvall
William Ray "Bill" Engvall, Jr. is an American comedian and actor best known for his work as a stand-up comic, his signature "Here's Your Sign" bit and as a member of the Blue Collar Comedy group...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth27 July 1957
CityGalveston, TX
CountryUnited States of America
good-day made said
God was havin' himself a good day when he made boobs. He must've stepped back from Eve and said, Yes ma'am! Those'll work.
fairly good ipod laptop lightly listen movies music travel watch
I travel fairly lightly because you have to these days. I always take a laptop and an iPod so I can watch movies and listen to music. And my Gameboy. That's a good time-killer.
good life people
Now people live into their 90s and beyond. As long as I have quality of life, I'm good.
best good
I've never said I was the best dancer, and I never said I was a good dancer.
favorite good great laughter love
I love to laugh, and laughter is one of my favorite things. When you have a really good laugh, you feel great afterwards.
good guy nice people treat walk
If you're just a nice guy - you don't let people walk on you - but if you're just a nice guy and treat people right, good things happen.
funny golf hockey
He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot." Well of course it's a golf shot; I just hit a golf ball. You don't see Gretzky skating around going "there's a hockey shot, that's a hockey shot."
hamburgers doe shirts
Ketchup is great on hamburgers, but if some gets on your shirt, that does not make your shirt also a hamburger.
stupid ties wife
My wife and I had an argument last week that was so stupid, that it bears repeating. My wife collects twist ties...welcome to my world.
doctors wife car
I told my wife I'm afraid to go back to the doctor because I'm afraid they're going to look at you and say: 'ma'am, just sell him for parts. It's like that old car that as soon as you fix one thing, something else goes out on it.
thinking people
The older you get, the more people think they have to listen to you.
clouds flying looks
Can someone explain to me why pilots feel they need to wake everyone to tell us that we are flying by a cloud that looks like a monkey.
sick doe want
I called my pilot 2 weeks before I flew and asked him, I don't want to get sick, what should I eat? He said, Peanut Butter. I said, If I eat peanut butter then I won't get sick? He said, no, but it tastes the same comin' up as it does goin' down.
hurt animal discovery
I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. All right Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you. Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it.