Bill Engvall
Bill Engvall
William Ray "Bill" Engvall, Jr. is an American comedian and actor best known for his work as a stand-up comic, his signature "Here's Your Sign" bit and as a member of the Blue Collar Comedy group...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth27 July 1957
CityGalveston, TX
CountryUnited States of America
funny uncles humor
No parents. You have Uncle Jesse, forever in overalls. Then there's Bo and Duke. What do they do? I never saw them working for food or gas money. You can only kill so many possum.
funny humor vacation
I thought "RV" stood for "Recreational Vehicle." No! It stands for "Ruins Vacations."
funny humor house
You could take Vicodin, step out of the house, onto a freeway, have a truck hit you, and you'd say "My Bad!".
funny humor honey
Welcome to my garage! This is where I go to get away from the honey-do list.
funny humor two
I hit two trees and fell down a ditch. And that was just walking from the lodge.
funny humor men
That's why they're man's best friend. 'Cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are. So do women, but they've already got men
funny humor hey
As we're staggering out of the hospital, I don't remember doing this because I was still high, but apparently I turned to the entire operating room staff and screamed "Hey! I'd better not see this on YouTube!"
funny morning humor
Lady, I didn't get up this morning wanting to be a jackass... but you just pushed my jackass button.
funny humor jumping
I might have tried bungee jumping, until I saw that video of that guy whose cord came untied. He didn't know it 'till he hit the ground. Oh, he flew off that tower, hollering at his buddies. "Whoo, check me out, dudes! Oh, that ground is coming up..." WHAM! And what do you say, if you're the operator of that ride, to the next guy in line? "All right dude, you're up."
funny golf hockey
He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot." Well of course it's a golf shot; I just hit a golf ball. You don't see Gretzky skating around going "there's a hockey shot, that's a hockey shot."
hamburgers doe shirts
Ketchup is great on hamburgers, but if some gets on your shirt, that does not make your shirt also a hamburger.
stupid ties wife
My wife and I had an argument last week that was so stupid, that it bears repeating. My wife collects twist ties...welcome to my world.
doctors wife car
I told my wife I'm afraid to go back to the doctor because I'm afraid they're going to look at you and say: 'ma'am, just sell him for parts. It's like that old car that as soon as you fix one thing, something else goes out on it.
thinking people
The older you get, the more people think they have to listen to you.