Bill Engvall
Bill Engvall
William Ray "Bill" Engvall, Jr. is an American comedian and actor best known for his work as a stand-up comic, his signature "Here's Your Sign" bit and as a member of the Blue Collar Comedy group...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth27 July 1957
CityGalveston, TX
CountryUnited States of America
funny girl home
My son is 12 now, and is really getting into girls. A lot. But the thing about twelve year old boys is that they don't possess what I like to call that ... discretionary gene yet. We were walking home from the ballfield the other day and there was a woman walking towards us who was ... gifted. I saw them, and I saw him see them. But she was too close for me to go, "Dude, shut up." She hadn't walked two feet behind us and he goes "God dang, did you see the SIZE of those things?" And all I could say was "Yeah, I did!"
home mean nursing
And isn't that weird? Think about this, when you're born, you nurse on your mama. And then you get a little older, you go to applesauce. And then you see these toddlers walking around with these Ziploc baggies full of Cheerios. Then you get to be my age, and the doctor wants you to start eating Cheerios to watch your cholesterol. Then you lose your teeth, you go to applesauce. I now know why old men like women with really big boobs. They see a trend. I mean, they call it a nursing home, hello.
rain home doors
I arrived home the other day, and it was just pouring rain out side so buy the time I get from the car to the front door I am soaked. I walk in side and take off my jacket and my wife says Is it raining out I couldn't help my self when I replied Nope, I had to take the gold fish for a walk. Here's your sign!
bullets pull trigger
I think you can ban guns if you can just pull the trigger and 60 bullets fire out.
favorite good great laughter love
I love to laugh, and laughter is one of my favorite things. When you have a really good laugh, you feel great afterwards.
love takes
I love stand up, but every year, the road takes a little more out of you.
car flipping goes guys hang stick time
I like to hang on to cars. I'm not one of these guys that goes flipping cars all the time. If I find a car I like, I stick with it.
time
I haven't been really nervous about a gig in a long time.
people
I have fun on stage, so people think maybe they should, too.
eat great healthier love vegetables
I eat fish, chicken, vegetables and other healthier foods. I do love a great steak.
acting dramatic funny kevin love
I dream of acting with Kevin Costner. I would love to do a movie with him. Not something funny, but a dramatic role.
celebrity time
I don't have big time celebrity friends - I'm just a guy.
politics religion
I don't do politics, I don't do religion, I don't do ethnic jokes.
believe
I don't believe there's any reason for a person like myself to own an AK-47.