Bill Engvall
Bill Engvall
William Ray "Bill" Engvall, Jr. is an American comedian and actor best known for his work as a stand-up comic, his signature "Here's Your Sign" bit and as a member of the Blue Collar Comedy group...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth27 July 1957
CityGalveston, TX
CountryUnited States of America
funny girl home
My son is 12 now, and is really getting into girls. A lot. But the thing about twelve year old boys is that they don't possess what I like to call that ... discretionary gene yet. We were walking home from the ballfield the other day and there was a woman walking towards us who was ... gifted. I saw them, and I saw him see them. But she was too close for me to go, "Dude, shut up." She hadn't walked two feet behind us and he goes "God dang, did you see the SIZE of those things?" And all I could say was "Yeah, I did!"
girl pet bags
Went to the grocery store, got everything on my list and went up to the checkout. I put a bag of pet food for our rabbit on the conveyor. The girl looked at me and said, Do you have a rabbit? I looked at here and said deadpan, Nope. Just like 'em 'cause they're crunchy. Here's your sign.
girl boys thinking
I pulled the boy close to me and said you see that girl, thats my only lil girl. So if you think about huggin or kissin. Remember these words. I aint afraid to go back to prison.
bullets pull trigger
I think you can ban guns if you can just pull the trigger and 60 bullets fire out.
favorite good great laughter love
I love to laugh, and laughter is one of my favorite things. When you have a really good laugh, you feel great afterwards.
love takes
I love stand up, but every year, the road takes a little more out of you.
car flipping goes guys hang stick time
I like to hang on to cars. I'm not one of these guys that goes flipping cars all the time. If I find a car I like, I stick with it.
time
I haven't been really nervous about a gig in a long time.
people
I have fun on stage, so people think maybe they should, too.
eat great healthier love vegetables
I eat fish, chicken, vegetables and other healthier foods. I do love a great steak.
acting dramatic funny kevin love
I dream of acting with Kevin Costner. I would love to do a movie with him. Not something funny, but a dramatic role.
celebrity time
I don't have big time celebrity friends - I'm just a guy.
politics religion
I don't do politics, I don't do religion, I don't do ethnic jokes.
believe
I don't believe there's any reason for a person like myself to own an AK-47.