Andy Kindler
Andy Kindler
Andy Kindleris an American comedian from New York City who resides in Los Angeles...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth16 October 1956
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
white people challenges
Republicans are just rich, old, white people - that's all they are. You ever see the Republican National Convention? All white people - six black people: paid actors. James Earl Jones in his most difficult, challenging role! Tune in and attempt to watch him look pleased during a George Bush speech. And Clarence Thomas - as himself.
believe holiday years
Jewish people, we don't believe in Hell or a future place to suffer. We're suffering right now. Every one of our holidays celebrates how much we've suffered. Passover - we're celebrating 5,000 years ago, God passed over our houses and murdered all the Egyptians. We're celebrating, 'Hey, thank God we didn't get slaughtered.
party keys wife
My wife and I want to try swapping. We want to go to one of those key parties where you put your keys in a bowl. But we just want to upgrade our car.
perfect machines aces
I'm still working on my time machine. If I ever perfect it, I'm going back in time to prevent Ace Ventura 2 from being made. And then I'm going after Hitler.
people genius talent
There's a lot of controversy online, some people say i'm a genius and other say i'm hugely talented.
people house watches
Jewish people, we're repulsed by Hitler, but we're obsessed with him. If you ever want to rob a Jewish person's house, all you have to do is call them up and tell them there's a Hitler film festival down at the multiplex - watch them file out.
doe
George Lopez does so much mugging, I'm surprised he's not up on charges.
drinking rights people
You know, civil rights is great and everything, but a lot of people don't realize that plumbers in the South make less money than when they used to install separate drinking fountains.
until
I came out to L.A. in '78 to be a musician. I didn't get into comedy until the mid-Eighties.
sex two forever
Now we have two choices in life: have sex with the same person forever or risk a terminal disease. Either way, your life is over.