Famous Quotes & Sayings

Mark Twain

I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.

Mark Twain

In India, 'cold weather' is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.

Mark Twain

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

Mary Roberts Rinehart

Useless as a pulled tooth.

Gene Fowler

An editor should have a pimp for a brother so he'd have someone to look up to.

Jennette McCurdy

Sorry I'm so sarcastic. I feel really bad about it.

Jeremy Northam

He has such a patronizing tone and manner, and such a sarcastic sense of humor. I found him rather brutal, a kind of elegant brutality which appealed. No, I think he came pretty much off the page.

Groucho Marx

Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?

Groucho Marx

Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.

Golda Meir

Don't be humble... you're not that great.

Harold Wilson

Debating against him is no fun, say something insulting and he looks at you like a whipped dog.

Ignatius of Antioch

For some are in the habit of carrying about the name in wicked guile, while they still practice things unworthy of God. You must flee these as you would wild beasts. For they are ravening dogs, who bite secretly, against whom you must be on your guard, since they are men who can scarcely be cured.

Rachel Maddow

I'm a sarcastic person. I learn through humor.

John Green

The snow may be falling in the winter of my discontent, but at least I've got sarcastic company.

Margaret Halsey

He must have had a magnificent build before his stomach went in for a career of its own.

Kin Hubbard

Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.

Kin Hubbard

A good listener is usually thinking about something else.

Melissa Rivers

My son Cooper has just turned ten and the sarcasm fairy has already started to take up residence inside his body. Not only am I living with my mother - again! - but I've also got her mini-me to contend with.

Leonardo DiCaprio

Some people don't get it when I'm being sarcastic.

Oscar Wilde

Why was I born with such contemporaries?

Oscar Wilde

Arguments are extremely vulgar, for everyone in good society holds exactly the same opinion.

Lillian Hellman

Writers are interesting people, but often mean and petty.

Lea Thompson

In my deepest parts of sadness, I'm always making a joke or being sarcastic.

Laurence J. Peter

Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status.

Lee Westwood

Sometimes Americans don't quite get my sense of humor. My good ol' British sarcasm seems to go over their heads.

P. J. O'Rourke

After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.

P. J. O'Rourke

The old woman was not only ugly with the ugliness age brings us all but showed signs of formidable ugliness by birth - pickle-jar chin, mainsail ears and a nose like a trigonometry problem. What's more, she had the deep frown and snit wrinkles that come from a lifetime of bad character.

P. J. O'Rourke

You can always reason with a German. You can always reason with a barnyard animal, too, for all the good it does.

Oscar Wilde

She is a peacock in everything but beauty!

Oscar Wilde

Now that the House of Commons is trying to become useful, it does a great deal of harm.

Oscar Wilde

America is one long expectoration.

Mae West

I've no time for broads who want to rule the world alone. Without men, who'd do up the zipper on the back of your dress?

Mae West

Good women are no fun... The only good woman I can recall in history was Betsy Ross. And all she ever made was a flag.