Famous Quotes & Sayings

Oscar Wilde

I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.

Oscar Wilde

Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.

Oscar Wilde

He hasn't an enemy in the world, and none of his friend like him.

Oscar Wilde

Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best.

Jack Paar

The California cemeteries make dying sound so attractive it's a real effort to keep breathing.

Jack Paar

Hollywood, we decided, was a nice place to die, but we wouldn't want to live there.

Jack Paar

Son of Lady Chatterley's Lover had obvious commercial advantages (as a title for this book), but it impugned the marital status of my parents, something that enough critics were already doing.

Jack Paar

It was plain to see the Hollywood undertakers take care of everything. If you die you don't have to lift a finger.

Jack Paar

We were ensconced as guests of the exclusive Beverly Hilton Hotel, an edifice so swank that the fire ax in the hall outside our suite said: "In case of fire-break crystal."

Jack Paar

Then there was the time in Hollywood when I sat down in a breakaway chair and it collapsed on me. I was nearly knocked out and might have been even more seriously hurt but my fall was broken by the smog.

Jack Paar

... Variety and the Hollywood Reporter, two publications read more faithfully in Hollywood than the Koran is in Mecca.

Jack Paar

Disneyland is such a big thing to Californians, I discovered that when you cross the border you have to raise your right hand and take an oath that you believe in Walt Disney.

Jack Paar

The only non-believer I encountered was Oscar Levant who wouldn't visit Disneyland because he said he had his own hallucinations.

Imelda Marcos

People say I'm extravagant because I want to be surrounded by beauty. But tell me, who wants to be surrounded by garbage?

Ichiro Suzuki

August in Kansas City is hotter than two rats f**king in a sock.

Gloria Steinem

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.

Gioachino Rossini

Wagner has lovely moments but awful quarters of an hour.

Geraldine Ferraro

It was not so very long ago that people thought that semiconductors were part-time orchestra leaders and microchips were very small snack foods.

Geraldo Rivera

If you think is was an accident, applaud.

Harry S Truman

Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it.

Harry S Truman

When you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship.

Harry S Truman

Any man who has had the job I've had and didn't have a sense of humor wouldn't still be here.

Harry S Truman

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.

Harry S Truman

The best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.

J. Paul Getty

The meek shall inherit the Earth, but not its mineral rights.

J. Paul Getty

Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.

J. K. Rowling

Anyone can speak Troll. All you have to do is point and grunt.

J. K. Rowling

Once again, you show all the sensitivity of a blunt axe.

J. K. Rowling

Don’t put your wand there, boy! ... Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!

Nancy Mitford

It's a funny thing that people are always ready to admit it if they've no talent for drawing or music, whereas everyone imagines that they themselves are capable of true love, which is a talent like any other, only far more rare.

Keisha Buchanan

With the history of us, a book wouldn't necessarily be the best thing.

Kate Clinton

Moms Mabley said you have to say good things about the dead. I say, 'He's dead. Good.'

Julia Sweeney

Because death and illness are the most horrible things in life, of course that's where the most absurdly funny things are going to happen.