Famous Quotes & Sayings

Laurence Olivier

Acting is a masochistic form of exhibitionism. It is not quite the occupation of an adult.

Laurence J. Peter

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Laurence J. Peter

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.

Lauren Miller

That's the funny thing about life. We're rarely aware of the bullets we dodge. The just-misses. The almost-never-happeneds. We spend so much time worrying about how the future is going to play out and not nearly enough time admiring the precious perfection of the present.

Lauren Myracle

I live in my own little world. But its ok, they know me here.

Lauren Myracle

You should eat a waffle! You can't be sad if you eat a waffle!

Larry the Cable Guy

You learn a lot though when you have kids, I'll tell you what. Did you know when a baby poops its diapers, you're not supposed to hit him with a rolled-up newspaper?

Larry the Cable Guy

Bought a pair of boots the other day, and they was some silicone gel in there. Big red letters said, "Do not eat." Do they really need that stuff in them boots? Is there really some dude opening a pair of boots goin', "Boy, look at them boots. What the hell? I better eat that. I don't know what the hell that is."

Larry Wall

Obviously I was either onto something, or on something.

P. J. O'Rourke

As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children.

P. J. O'Rourke

If Disney still wants to make Epcot Center futuristic, they could do so by blowing the place up with an atom bomb.

P. J. O'Rourke

Visiting Future World is like opening a Chinese fortune cookie to read, "Soon you'll be finished with dinner."

P. J. O'Rourke

Walt is dead. And, after a couple of hours at Epcot, you'll wish you were, too.

P. J. O'Rourke

At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying whole wide world.

P. J. O'Rourke

Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.

P. J. O'Rourke

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something brussel sprouts never do.

Pablo Picasso

If I like it, I say it's mine. If I don't I say it's a fake.

Pablo Picasso

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.

Paul Stanley

You're at your best when you don't know what you're doing.

Paul Merton

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

Patricia Schroeder

I have a brain and a uterus, and I use both.

Oscar Wilde

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.

Oscar Wilde

Plain women are always jealous of their husbands. Beautiful women never are. They are always so occupied with being jealous of other women's husbands.

Oscar Wilde

He is really not so ugly after all, provided, of course, that one shuts one's eyes, and does not look at him.

Oscar Wilde

Most modern calendars mar the sweet simplicity of our lives by reminding us that each day that passes is the anniversary of some perfectly uninteresting event.

Oscar Wilde

The only way a woman can ever reform a man is by boring him so completely that he loses all possible interest in life.

Oscar Wilde

The English country gentleman galloping after the fox – the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable.

Oscar Wilde

It is perfectly monstrous,' he said, at last, 'the way people go about nowadays saying things against one behind one's back that are absolutely and entirely true.

Oscar Wilde

I like Wagner's music better than anybody's. It is so loud that one can talk the whole time without other people hearing what one says.

Oscar Wilde

The basis of action is lack of imagination. It is the last resource of those who know not how to dream.

Oscar Wilde

It is only by not paying one's bills that one can hope to live in the memory of the commercial classes.

Oscar Wilde

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive.

Oscar Wilde

No object is so beautiful that, under certain conditions, it will not look ugly.