Quotes about funny
funny religious purpose
The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close. Mark Twain
funny motivational business
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
funny sarcastic money
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
funny-food religion cows
Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
funny witty clever
Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?
funny clever men
What a man misses mostly in heaven is company.
funny kindness divorce
great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.
funny fake-people halloween
Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
funny inspiration humor
The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.
funny humor sublime
I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, and all His works must be contemplated with respect.
funny inspiring dog
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.
funny life sarcastic
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
funny life education
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
funny life sarcastic
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
funny sarcastic money
We have the best government that money can buy.
funny humor cat
Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.
funny school hands
I got attention by being funny at school, pretending to be retarded, and jumping around with a deformed hand. Leonardo DiCaprio
funny humor two-nations
We have really everything in common with America nowadays, except, of course, language. Oscar Wilde
funny men people
I quite agree with Dr. Nordau's assertion that all men of genius are insane, but Dr. Nordau forgets that all sane people are idiots.
funny littles importance-of-being-earnest
If I am occasionally a little over-dressed, I make up for it by being always immensely over-educated.
funny friendship sarcastic
Friendship is far more tragic than love. It lasts longer.
funny truth inspiration
If one tells the truth, one is sure, sooner or later, to be found out.
funny book humor
My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's.
funny sarcastic noses
There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose.
funny sarcastic america
Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.
funny wisdom greed
There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up.
funny sister sarcastic
The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.
funny family father
Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life.
funny sarcastic anger
Arguments are to be avoided: they are always vulgar and often convincing.
funny sarcastic art
All art is quite useless.
funny witty world
I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world.
funny music witty
If one plays good music, people don't listen and if one plays bad music people don't talk.
funny marriage sexy
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.