Quotes about funny
funny sarcastic sports
Golf is a good walk spoiled. Mark Twain
funny witty powerful
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. Mark Twain
funny life depression
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. Mark Twain
funny bible sarcastic
The lack of money is the root of all evil. Mark Twain
funny life sarcastic
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. Mark Twain
funny life graduation
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards. Mark Twain
funny life god
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. Mark Twain
funny sarcastic witty
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. Mark Twain
funny-inspirational men differences
Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass. Mark Twain
funny humor german-language
whenever the literary german dives into a sentence, this is the last you are going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth. Mark Twain
funny hilarious two
There is nothing so annoying as having two people talking when you're busy interrupting. Mark Twain
funny humorous fools-day
April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.. Mark Twain
funny cat fighting
Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use. Mark Twain
funny humor science
Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town? Mark Twain
funny sarcastic inspiration
Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins. Mark Twain
funny smoking literature
I have made it a rule never to smoke more that one cigar at a time. Mark Twain
funny kings inspiration
Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.' Mark Twain
funny life death
Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved. Mark Twain
funny life witty
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. Mark Twain
funny america missing
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it. Mark Twain
funny motivational business
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. Mark Twain
funny witty silly
By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. Mark Twain
funny money differences
What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin. Mark Twain
funny life inspiration
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. Mark Twain
funny success carpe-diem
Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. Mark Twain
funny believe humor
A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime. Mark Twain
funny sports inspiration
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. Mark Twain
funny humorous men
We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read- Mark Twain
funny sarcastic sex
Familiarity breeds contempt - and children. Mark Twain
funny witty inspirational-life
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. Mark Twain
funny work evil
Work is a necessary evil to be avoided. Mark Twain
funny humor cat
A home without a cat — and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat — may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title? Mark Twain
funny life death
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. Mark Twain