Quotes about funny
funny sarcastic sports
Golf is a good walk spoiled. Mark Twain
funny witty powerful
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
funny life depression
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
funny bible sarcastic
The lack of money is the root of all evil.
funny life sarcastic
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
funny life graduation
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
funny life god
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
funny sarcastic witty
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
funny-inspirational men differences
Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass.
funny humor german-language
whenever the literary german dives into a sentence, this is the last you are going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth.
funny hilarious two
There is nothing so annoying as having two people talking when you're busy interrupting.
funny humorous fools-day
April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four..
funny cat fighting
Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use.
funny humor science
Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?
funny sarcastic inspiration
Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.
funny smoking literature
I have made it a rule never to smoke more that one cigar at a time.
funny kings inspiration
Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.'
funny life death
Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.
funny life witty
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
funny america missing
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
funny motivational business
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
funny witty silly
By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.
funny money differences
What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.
funny life inspiration
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.
funny success carpe-diem
Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
funny believe humor
A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.
funny sports inspiration
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
funny humorous men
We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read-
funny sarcastic sex
Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
funny witty inspirational-life
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
funny work evil
Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
funny humor cat
A home without a cat — and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat — may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?
funny life death
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.