Will Durst
Will Durst
Will Durstis an American political satirist; he has been called a modern mix of Mort Sahl and Will Rogers...
running thinking circles
President Bush says we've turned the corner in Iraq. What is that, about 16 corners we've turned? I think they call that running in circles.
growing-up america people
When people talk about how in America, anybody can grow up to be President, I'm not sure George Bush is exactly what they had in mind.
san-francisco redundant
In San Francisco, Haloween is redundant.
people vote enough
Everybody says not enough people vote. Now, I don't know nothing, but after the midterms, pretty obvious to me, that too many people vote.
way deals best-way
It is my experience that the best way to deal with American politics is 50 milligrams of Zoloft 3 times a day.
cutting people president
Budget cuts if you're not rich, tax cuts if you are. Less money for those who don't have any and more to those who do. That's how President Fredo says we're going to get out of the giant deficit hole he's dug. You can't put it any more simply. Rich people richer. Poor people poorer.
home beer cutting
The administration says the American people want tax cuts. Well, duh. The American people also want drive-through nickel beer night. The American people want to lose weight by eating ice cream. The American people love the Home Shopping Network because it's commercial-free.
halloween san-francisco redundant
In San Francisco, Halloween is redundant.
sex dirty firsts
How did sex come to be thought of as dirty in the first place? God must have been a Republican.
fear laughter anxiety
Comedy is defiance. It's a snort of contempt in the face of fear and anxiety. And it's the laughter that allows hope to creep back on the inhale.
guy happens mean stage swear switch turn tyler
When you get on stage you turn into another person man, I mean I swear I turn into Tyler Durden (from the film 'Fight Club'). It's like something happens to me and I switch into this guy and when I get off stage I'm like, what just happened?
media
I think he's not going to do anything, ... The media is making the controversy here.
energy free hang mind positive
Free your mind and let it all hang out, be yourselves, go there with positive energy if you have any in your body.
collaborating
I love collaborating.