W. C. Fields

W. C. Fields
William Claude Dukenfield, better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer. Fields' comic persona was a misanthropic and hard-drinking egotist, who remained a sympathetic character despite his snarling contempt for dogs and children...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth29 January 1880
CityDarby, PA
CountryUnited States of America
humorous names use
Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
indecisive indecision used
I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
greatness rumor use
I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
years alcohol use
I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.
horse said used
I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
cross eat heart hope weight
Cross my heart and hope to eat my weight in goslings.
rather
On the whole I would rather be in Philadelphia.
equality free hate
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
asked ends hard hollywood
I have been asked if I ever get the DTs; I don't know; it's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.
bad face gold head looked miles seven sleep teeth wrinkled
Well, her face was so wrinkled it looked like seven miles of bad road. She had so many gold teeth . . . she used to have to sleep with her head in a safe.
politics
Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.
american-comedian prejudice
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
drove thank
It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.
american-comedian lies
Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.