W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields
William Claude Dukenfield, better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer. Fields' comic persona was a misanthropic and hard-drinking egotist, who remained a sympathetic character despite his snarling contempt for dogs and children...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth29 January 1880
CityDarby, PA
CountryUnited States of America
believe church might
If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.
thinking long church
I think of the church often. Not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew.
american-comedian handy
I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
I'd like to see Paris before I die... Philadelphia will do.
cross eat heart hope weight
Cross my heart and hope to eat my weight in goslings.
bad face gold head looked miles seven sleep teeth wrinkled
Well, her face was so wrinkled it looked like seven miles of bad road. She had so many gold teeth . . . she used to have to sleep with her head in a safe.
rather
On the whole I would rather be in Philadelphia.
cheating worth
Anything worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
equality free hate
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
asked ends hard hollywood
I have been asked if I ever get the DTs; I don't know; it's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.
betting good horse horses judgement keeps
Horse sense is a good judgement which keeps horses from betting on people.
politics
Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.
american-comedian prejudice
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
drove thank
It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.