W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields
William Claude Dukenfield, better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer. Fields' comic persona was a misanthropic and hard-drinking egotist, who remained a sympathetic character despite his snarling contempt for dogs and children...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth29 January 1880
CityDarby, PA
CountryUnited States of America
believe biblical whales
To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.
believe church might
If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.
wedding believe long
I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck
believe dining empty
I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
cross eat heart hope weight
Cross my heart and hope to eat my weight in goslings.
rather
On the whole I would rather be in Philadelphia.
equality free hate
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
asked ends hard hollywood
I have been asked if I ever get the DTs; I don't know; it's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.
bad face gold head looked miles seven sleep teeth wrinkled
Well, her face was so wrinkled it looked like seven miles of bad road. She had so many gold teeth . . . she used to have to sleep with her head in a safe.
politics
Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.
american-comedian prejudice
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
drove thank
It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.
american-comedian lies
Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
cheating worth
Anything worth having is a thing worth cheating for.