W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields
William Claude Dukenfield, better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer. Fields' comic persona was a misanthropic and hard-drinking egotist, who remained a sympathetic character despite his snarling contempt for dogs and children...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth29 January 1880
CityDarby, PA
CountryUnited States of America
break
It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
drinking thinking fields
Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.
leprosy easier
Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
funny money scams
It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
drink
I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.
two cost-of-living race
How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?
marriage things-in-life old-friends
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
laughter laughing comedian
The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .
horse remember shirts
Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt!
funny dog men
No man is the boss of his own house, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
giving-up beer alcohol
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
running dog special
The advantages of whiskey over dogs are legion. Whiskey does not need to be periodically wormed, it does not need to be fed, it never requires a special kennel, it has no toenails to be clipped or coat to be stripped. Whiskey sits quietly in its special nook until you want it. True, whiskey has a nasty habit of running out, but then so does a dog.
inspirational funny drinking
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
knives income balls
I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.