W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields
William Claude Dukenfield, better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer. Fields' comic persona was a misanthropic and hard-drinking egotist, who remained a sympathetic character despite his snarling contempt for dogs and children...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth29 January 1880
CityDarby, PA
CountryUnited States of America
trying succeed facts
Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
insulting swallowing plums
All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.
saloons old-hollywood ifs
If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.
pain men necks
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
wife buried my-wife
Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.
greatness rumor use
I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
trying needs firsts
If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
president my-best-friend dinner
I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.
cash fund tied-up
All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.
loopholes
I'm searching for loopholes.
lying cities laughing
In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.
should-have years gold
Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
couple color world
It's a wonderful thing, the D.T.'s. You can travel the world in a couple of hours. You see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors.
years alcohol use
I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.