Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
body gonna leave science
When I die, I'm gonna leave my body to science fiction.
science car looks
I have a quantum car. Every time I look at the speedometer I get lost.
funny science theory-of-evolution
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
death fun science
When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
audience came clicked johnny since tonight watching
I've wanted to do it since I was 14 years old, from watching 'The Tonight Show,' watching Johnny (Carson) and the other comedians. Something clicked in me that I wanted to be one of those guys, someone who came out and made the audience laugh.
statue
The statue is permanently out of place in my house,
spot
I spilled Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
american-comedian
I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.
american-comedian
The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.
american-comedian
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?
american-comedian ran wearing
I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.
I'm going to get an MRI to find out whether I have claustrophobia.
bought microwave
I bought an occassional table........sometimes it's a microwave oven.
french ordered sign toast
I was at this restaurant. The sign said "Breakfast Anytime." So I ordered French Toast in the Renaissance.