Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
funny firsts succeed
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
wish lasts firsts
I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was "Quote" so the last thing I said before I died would be "Unquote.
funny humor firsts
I was in the first submarine. Instead of a periscope, they had a kaleidoscope. "We're surrounded."
wish lasts firsts
Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'
trying lines firsts
I've always had to conquer fear when I'm on stage. Basically, I was and still am a very shy person. It's absolutely in conflict with what I do. But once I deliver the first joke I'm okay. It's like I'm out there all by myself just delivering my lines to nobody in particular without ever trying to notice the audience in front of me.
wish firsts said
I wish the first word I ever said was the word quote, so right before I die I could say unquote.
firsts killing first-time
It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.
audience came clicked johnny since tonight watching
I've wanted to do it since I was 14 years old, from watching 'The Tonight Show,' watching Johnny (Carson) and the other comedians. Something clicked in me that I wanted to be one of those guys, someone who came out and made the audience laugh.
statue
The statue is permanently out of place in my house,
spot
I spilled Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
american-comedian
I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.
american-comedian
The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.
american-comedian
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?
american-comedian ran wearing
I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.