Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
funny firsts succeed
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
wish lasts firsts
I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was "Quote" so the last thing I said before I died would be "Unquote.
funny humor firsts
I was in the first submarine. Instead of a periscope, they had a kaleidoscope. "We're surrounded."
wish lasts firsts
Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'
trying lines firsts
I've always had to conquer fear when I'm on stage. Basically, I was and still am a very shy person. It's absolutely in conflict with what I do. But once I deliver the first joke I'm okay. It's like I'm out there all by myself just delivering my lines to nobody in particular without ever trying to notice the audience in front of me.
wish firsts said
I wish the first word I ever said was the word quote, so right before I die I could say unquote.
firsts killing first-time
It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.
budgets five good matter problem
I haven't done a film in about five years and I want to do more. It's not a matter of expense, because budgets are low, it's the problem of not having a really good idea.
beating best game hang known
I've known Ian for a while. It's not about beating the best pitcher. He's still my buddy. I'll probably hang out with him tonight. It's just another game to me.
spot
I spilled Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
audience came clicked johnny since tonight watching
I've wanted to do it since I was 14 years old, from watching 'The Tonight Show,' watching Johnny (Carson) and the other comedians. Something clicked in me that I wanted to be one of those guys, someone who came out and made the audience laugh.
afraid people
Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
statue
The statue is permanently out of place in my house,
american-comedian ask babies baby friend later noises
My friend has a baby. I'm writing down all the noises the baby makes so later I can ask him what he meant.