Steven Wright

Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
american-comedian
I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.
american-comedian
The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.
american-comedian
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?
american-comedian ran wearing
I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.
american-comedian ask babies baby friend later noises
My friend has a baby. I'm writing down all the noises the baby makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
american-comedian paint small
It's a small world but I wouldn't want to paint it.
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It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
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Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
american-comedian bothers deep grow
Sponges grow in the ocean. This bothers me. How deep would it be if they didn't?
car comedian sound
I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds amazing.
thinking comedian stuff
Comedians are sociologists. We're pointing out stuff that the general public doesn't even stop to think about, looking at life in slow-motion and questioning everything we see.
years people comedian
I didn't tell any of my friends that I wanted to be a comedian, because I was superstitious. I thought if I told people, it wouldn't happen. So I kept it all in my head for years and years.
audience came clicked johnny since tonight watching
I've wanted to do it since I was 14 years old, from watching 'The Tonight Show,' watching Johnny (Carson) and the other comedians. Something clicked in me that I wanted to be one of those guys, someone who came out and made the audience laugh.
statue
The statue is permanently out of place in my house,