Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg
Mitchell Lee "Mitch" Hedberg was an American stand-up comedian known for his surreal humor and unconventional comedic delivery. His comedy typically featured short, sometimes one-line jokes mixed with absurd elements and non sequiturs...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth24 February 1968
CitySaint Paul, MN
CountryUnited States of America
funny humor winning
I got a business card because I wanna win some lunches. That's what my business card says: Mitch Hedberg, Potential Lunch Winner. Gimme a call, maybe we'll have lunch. If I'm lucky!
funny humor would-be
If you had a friend who was a tightrope walker, and you were walking down a sidewalk, and he fell, that would be completely unacceptable.
funny reading humor
I was in a convenience store, reading a magazine. The clerk told me, "this is not a library!" "OK! I will talk louder, then!"
funny wall humor
I was going to stay overnight at my friend's house - he said, "you'll have to sleep on the floor." Damn gravity! You don't know how bad I wanted to sleep on the wall.
funny humor want
I got binoculars 'cause I don't want to go that close.
feet stockings ultimate
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
funny comedy has-beens
All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
break wells
Well, that's a 'fresher'. I'm going on break.
funny humor men
I had a box of Ritz crackers, and on the back of the box, they had all these suggestions for what to put on top of the Ritz. Try it with cheese. Try it with peanut butter. Come on, man, they're crackers, that's why I got them. I like crackers! I didn't buy them because they're little edible plates!
funny clever humor
The Kit Kat candy bar has the name Kit Kat imprinted into the chocolate. That robs you of chocolate! That's a clever chocolate-saving technique.
funny nice humor
You should never tell someone they have a nice dimple, because maybe they were shot in the face with a BB gun.
funny lollipop garbage
A lollipop is a cross between hard candy and garbage.
funny witty dirty
This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty.
alcohol disease alcoholism
Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.