Milton Berle
Milton Berle
Milton Berlewas an American comedian and actor. As the host of NBC's Texaco Star Theater, he was the first major American television star and was known to millions of viewers as "Uncle Miltie" and "Mr. Television" during TV's golden age...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Actor
Date of Birth12 July 1908
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
lost jokes
I never stole a joke in my life. I just find them before they're lost.
fall men missing
A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
guy faces remember
Remember when you had your face lifted... and the guy brought it back.
real valentine thinking
My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay.
high-heels guy together
Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
mother flower valentine
On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
nice valentine heart
She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.
christmas suicide kids
Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
valentine pieces break
The only thing that can break a piece of Valentine candy is another piece of Valentine candy.
nice valentine holiday
Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife.
marriage running perfect
My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don't try to run her life, and I don't try to run mine.
mind insulting bob
I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.
education teaching promise
Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?
education team teaching
It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!