Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart
Jon Stewartis an American comedian, writer, producer, director, actor, media critic, and former television host. From 1999 to 2015, he was the host of The Daily Show, a satirical news program that airs on Comedy Central...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionEntertainer
Date of Birth28 November 1962
CountryUnited States of America
lying news satire
To me, that's where a lot of satire lies. News used to hold itself to a higher plane and slowly it has dissolved into, well, me.
children war iraq
Give me back the $800 billion for the Iraq war and children's television PBS is on the house.
running guy naked
Remember that guy who got gored by a bull and the bull pulled his underwear off and he had to run around the ring naked? If that footage comes out, I'll run that.
eight wheels ifs
I like a lot of wheels. If I could have eight wheels, I would.
mean apes chaos
I mean, I'm not hoping for the apes and the monolith. I'm hoping for controlled chaos to assist us.
funny gun mass-destruction
We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.
comedian limits cases
Hopefully the only things off-limits are crummy jokes, but being a standup comedian, I know that's not always the case... You know it when you have to take a shower afterward.
dream boys feelings
I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else.
good-luck phones warning
I always get that cautionary warning right before I get off the phone with an interviewer. It's: 'Good luck with the show. I really like it, and if this goes wrong, you'll be hearing from my attorneys.
war vietnam size
The Vietnam war was fought over portion size.
girl badass real
You guys (Boko Haram) are trying so hard to convince everybody that you're such badasses. But all you've done with this kidnapping is highlight who the real badasses are, the kids you kidnapped. Compared to a teenager who knows that her desire for an education could get her dragged into a snake infested jungle to be sold as a bribe to some demented, stick-chewing cartoon villain but still gets up and goes to class everyday, fully aware of that danger - compared to their courage - I'd say Boko Haram is a bunch of little girls. But, you know what? You don't deserve that compliment.
thinking president way
Here's the way I look at it. President Bush has uranium-tipped bunker busters and I have puns. I think he'll be OK.
son
It's always funny until the hooker mentions her son.
smart people inspire
Everybody thought Barack Obama was going to [inspire people] when he came to Washington, but, you know, the Senate seems like the place where smart people go to die.