Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart
Jon Stewartis an American comedian, writer, producer, director, actor, media critic, and former television host. From 1999 to 2015, he was the host of The Daily Show, a satirical news program that airs on Comedy Central...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionEntertainer
Date of Birth28 November 1962
CountryUnited States of America
california evil
California is choosing between the lesser of, uh, 300 evils.
dog america house
It's like America has a dog that's always shitting inside the house, and we solved the problem by getting a brown rug.
fighting cowboy soldier
[President Bush] recently challenged Iraqi soldiers still fighting U.S. troops like so: ... 'My answer is bring 'em on.' For those of you who may be criticizing Bush for acting like a movie cowboy, let me remind you. He's actually acting more like a movie cheerleader.
depressing thinking disease
Watching these channels all day is incredibly depressing. I live in a constant state of depression. I think of us as turd miners. I put on my helmet, I go and mine turds, hopefully I don't get turd lung disease.
government scary als
(Terrorists) are planning to disrupt our democratic process. It's scary I know, but we're not going to let al Qaeda tell us what to do. In fact, our government has decided that if al Qaeda attempts to disrupt our democratic process, we are going to respond by disrupting it first.
potato-chips potatoes congress
9/11 references are like Lay's potato chips...no Congress can make just one.
iraq withdrawal calling
The Republicans are calling the Democrats' plan to have a deadline for US troop withdrawal from Iraq an 'admission of failure', as opposed to the Republican plan which is 'failure without admission'.
change sports congratulations
All in all it's a pretty great day for major league sports. At long last they've decided that gay people are fit to be included in their elite club-one that's already allowed in adulterers, wife-swappers, gamblers, cheaters, rapists, racists and slaughterers of man. Those who've abused spouses, drugs, alcohol, family members and animals. Congratulations, gay athletes. Are you sure you want to hang out with these people?
cutting wind comedian
The best-laid plans of mice and comedians usually wind up on the cutting-room floor.
thinking soul television
I think the metric by which television is considered liberal is literally based on the metric of liberalism in each person's soul. Peoples' senses of humor tend to go about as far as their ideology.
looks way helpful
We look at, the absurdity of the system provides us the most material. And that is best served by sort of the theater of it all, you know, which, by the way, thank you both, because it's been helpful.
money reality thinking
What's with the poverty Tourette's? Why do these two think we need a hobo for president?
zoos media upset
I'm less upset with politicians than [with] the media. I feel like politicians ? the way I explain it, is when you go to a zoo and a monkey throws feces, it's a monkey. But when the zookeeper is standing right there and he doesn't say, 'Bad monkey' ? somebody's gotta be the zookeeper.
dream joy guarantees
By working to get away from your circumstance you can make something better of yourself, but there’s no guarantee... But you know what? The joy of it is chasing that dream.