Jimmy Carr
Jimmy Carr
James Anthony Patrick "Jimmy" Carris an English stand-up comedian, television host and actor, known for his signature laugh, deadpan delivery, dark humour, and use of edgy one-liners. He is also a writer, actor, and presenter of radio and television. Carr moved to a career in comedy in 2000 and has become a successful comedian. After becoming established as a stand-up comedian, Carr began to appear in a number of Channel 4 television shows, becoming the host of the panel show...
NationalityEnglish
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth15 September 1972
I, of course, don't have an accent. This is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.
How many airports are there in the world?
Viagra has instructions: 'Keep away from children' - what kind of man do you think I am?
Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"
I had a survey done on my house. 8 out of 10 people said they really rather liked it
My favourite road sign is 'Falling Rocks'. What exactly am I supposed to do with that information? They may as well have a sign saying "Random accidents ahead", "Life's a lottery, Be lucky."
Ten years after the Chernobyl accident, and am I the only one that's disappointed? Still no superheros.
Put Smarties tubes on cats legs, make them walk like a robot.
TV's not the same buzz. If someone tells you three million people watched the show last week, that's good but, when you walk out in front of 1,000, you think, 'Oh my God, this had better be good'.
I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was 'Shout For Help'.
When I was a kid I had an imaginary friend and I used to think that he went everywhere with me, and that I could talk to him and that he could hear me, and that he could grant me wishes and stuff. And then I grew up, and I stopped going to church.
British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!
I said to my girlfriend, you shouldn't eat before you swim. She said, "why not"? I said, you look fat.
I used to buy lottery tickets every week until I realised you could watch it on TV for nothing.