Jimmy Carr
Jimmy Carr
James Anthony Patrick "Jimmy" Carris an English stand-up comedian, television host and actor, known for his signature laugh, deadpan delivery, dark humour, and use of edgy one-liners. He is also a writer, actor, and presenter of radio and television. Carr moved to a career in comedy in 2000 and has become a successful comedian. After becoming established as a stand-up comedian, Carr began to appear in a number of Channel 4 television shows, becoming the host of the panel show...
NationalityEnglish
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth15 September 1972
There was one time where I failed to perform sexually. My girlfriend said to me "oh don't worry, it happens to a lot of guys". Ok, there are two things wrong with that. First of all who are these other guys?, and second of all if it's happening to more than one of us, don't you think it could be YOUR fault?
I think they got it wrong with Saddam Hussein. They thought he had the A-Bomb. Instead he had a bomb.
When people come over to my house for dinner, I always have a vegetarian option. They can make do, or they can **** off!
Swimming is good for you, especially if you're drowning. Not only do you get a cardiovascular workout but also you don't die.
I have no problems with buying tampons. I am a fairly modern man. But apparently they're not a "proper" present. "Happy birthday, mum!"
Staying in luxury hotels still gives me a kick, especially Oulton Hall in Yorkshire. I'd stay in a hotel for the breakfast and room service.
The first few weeks of joining Weight Watchers, you're just finding your feet.
If only Africa had more mosquito nets then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of aids
Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with 'I can't talk now, I'm going into a tunnel'.
The reason old man use Viagra is not that they are impotent. It's that old women are so very ugly.
My father always used to say, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger," - 'til the accident.
Say what you want about the deaf...
A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, 'Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?' I said, 'All right, but we won't get much done.
Boxers don't have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other...