Jimmy Carr
Jimmy Carr
James Anthony Patrick "Jimmy" Carris an English stand-up comedian, television host and actor, known for his signature laugh, deadpan delivery, dark humour, and use of edgy one-liners. He is also a writer, actor, and presenter of radio and television. Carr moved to a career in comedy in 2000 and has become a successful comedian. After becoming established as a stand-up comedian, Carr began to appear in a number of Channel 4 television shows, becoming the host of the panel show...
NationalityEnglish
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth15 September 1972
I've got a friend whose nickname is "Shagger". You might think that's pretty cool. She doesn't like it.
My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.
I saw a charity appeal in the Guardian the other day, and it read "Little Zuki has to walk 13 miles a day just to fetch water". And I couldn't help thinking, she should move.
Cats have nine lives. Makes them ideal for experimentation.
Once I was doing a sponsored walk. In the end I managed to raise so much money, I could afford a taxi.
I was out with a friend and he came over with a pair of girls. I said to him "They're like buses." He said "What? Because you wait for ages and then two come along at once." I said "No, they are like buses!"
It had to be hammered home quite a bit because I didn't see any humour in my life at all.
In Pizza Express you can get garlic bread with cheese and tomato. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but that's a pizza.
When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.
The 2012 Olympics is going to cost £8 billion which is a lot of money. It'll probably bankrupt London. But you can't put a price on two bronze medals in cycling.
See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Rohypnol
There was one time where I failed to perform sexually. My girlfriend said to me "oh don't worry, it happens to a lot of guys". Ok, there are two things wrong with that. First of all who are these other guys?, and second of all if it's happening to more than one of us, don't you think it could be YOUR fault?
Swimming is good for you, especially if you're drowning. Not only do you get a cardiovascular workout but also you don't die.
I have no problems with buying tampons. I am a fairly modern man. But apparently they're not a "proper" present. "Happy birthday, mum!"