Jim Gaffigan
Jim Gaffigan
James Christopher "Jim" Gaffiganis an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, voice-over artist, and author. His humor largely revolves around fatherhood, observations, and food. He is also regarded as a "clean" comic, using little profanity in his routines. He has had several successful comedy specials, including Mr. Universe and Jim Gaffigan: Obsessed, both of which received Grammy nominations. His memoir, Dad Is Fatand his most recent book, Food: A Love Story, are both published by Crown Publishers. He co-created and currently...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth7 July 1966
CountryUnited States of America
Smiling babies should actually be categorized by the pharmaceutical industry as a powerful antidepressant.
Once you put bacon in a salad, it's no longer a salad. It just becomes a game of 'find the bacon in the lettuce'. It's like you're panning for gold. Eureka!
That's my private business. Besides, the perception is that people that believe in God are stupid.
I have more pictures of my children than my father ever looked at me,
I don't know what's more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or acting like you know what you're doing.
Isn't it strange -- when you're single, all you see is couples, and when you're part of a couple, all you see are hookers.
No matter how you feel about your extended family or family gatherings you will be attending. This is because now the ultimate reason for attending family gatherings is for your children to have the time of their lives with their cousins. Little kids love their cousins. I’m not being cute or exaggerating here. Cousins are like celebrities for little kids. If little kids had a People magazine, cousins would be on the cover. Cousins are the barometers of how fun a family get-together will be. “Are the cousins going to be there? Fun!
There should be a children's song: 'If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep'.
When our bed is made, it's covered in 40 pillows-like we're stockpiling ammo for the global pillow fight.
Raising kids may be a thankless job with ridiculous hours, but at least the pay sucks.
The Pearly Gates. Am I the only one who finds it odd that Heaven has gates? What kind of neighborhood is Heaven in?
I don't want people to think I believe in God.
Oh great, socks. You know I'm dying for your sins right? Yeah, but thanks for the socks! They'll go great with my sandals. What am I, German?
Steakhouses sort of have this old-school nature to them; they're like museums full of good food. It's fun hearing the waiter share his expertise on the different cuts of beef and how they're going to cut up your baked potato.