Jim Gaffigan

Jim Gaffigan
James Christopher "Jim" Gaffiganis an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, voice-over artist, and author. His humor largely revolves around fatherhood, observations, and food. He is also regarded as a "clean" comic, using little profanity in his routines. He has had several successful comedy specials, including Mr. Universe and Jim Gaffigan: Obsessed, both of which received Grammy nominations. His memoir, Dad Is Fatand his most recent book, Food: A Love Story, are both published by Crown Publishers. He co-created and currently...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth7 July 1966
CountryUnited States of America
I always want my standup act to appeal to everybody in the room, and when I started standup, and I would see people talk about their kids and their wife, and I'd always cringe a little bit, like, 'I can't get a date, I don't know what you're talking about.'
I lived across from a Catholic church for 15 years that I never went into. And then I got married to my wife and - you know, and now we're going in there every other day baptizing a kid.
My wife's gotten really lazy, or as she calls it, 'pregnant.'
I married a woman who loves to camp, and I am what you would call "indoorsy"... My wife always brings up, "Camping's a tradition in my family." Hey, it was a tradition in everyone's family 'til we came up with the house.
My wife told me that in the Bible, Abraham circumcised himself... wow! I can't even get to the bank before it closes.
My wife always asks me why I don't make the bed. And I respond with the same reason why I don't tie my shoes after I take them off.
It does piss me off when Angelina won't stop calling.
Ever read a book that changed your life? Me neither.
I'm from Indiana. I know what you're thinking, Indiana... Mafia. But in Indiana it's not like New York where everyone's like, 'We're from New York and we're the best' or 'We're from Texas and we like things big' it's more like 'We're from Indiana and we're gonna move.'
You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby.
I love the movie previews... you know... Why is it whenever you're watching a movie preview you always feel like you have to comment on it to the person you're with? 'Yeah... I'm not gonna see that movie. I'm gonna wait for that on VIDEO.' I mean when you think about it, it's just a commercial for the movie. You know, you never sit at home watching tv-- "Yeah... I'm not buying that cereal. I don't like cereals with raisins in 'em. ...What's your take on that commercial? Where you goin'?
I like bowling. It's just one of those things where I can do so many jokes about it because I do know bowling. Somebody once said, "The whitest things in the world are Jim Gaffigan and bowling."
I'm definitely hesitant wearing shorts during the summer. Like for a pale person, you know, summer - everyone in the world is so excited for summer, but pale people, we're just like, oh no.
There are people that are vegetarians that love bacon.