George Carlin
George Carlin
George Denis Patrick Carlinwas an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic and author. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. Carlin and his "Seven dirty words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 5–4 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth12 May 1937
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.
You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.
I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
The planet isn't going anywhere. We are.
Let me get a sip of water here...you figure this stuff is safe to drink? Actually, I don't care, I drink it anyway. You know why? Because I'm an American and I expect a little cancer in my food and water. I'm a loyal American and I'm not happy unless I let government and industry poison me a little bit every day.
We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.
I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
When something is 'new and improved', which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
I didn't wash today. I wasn't dirty. If I'm not dirty, I don't wash. Some weeks I don't have to shower at all. I just groom my three basic areas: teeth, hair, and asshole. And to save time, I use the same brush.
Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!
I respect animals. I have more sympathy for an injured or dead animal than I do for an injured or dead human being, because human beings participate and cooperate in their own undoing. Animals are completely innocent. There are no innocent human beings.