George Carlin

George Carlin
George Denis Patrick Carlinwas an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic and author. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. Carlin and his "Seven dirty words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 5–4 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth12 May 1937
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe.
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
Hard work is for people short on talent.
It is impossible for an abortion clinic to have a waiting list of more than nine months.
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: It attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from getting violent and trying to take other people’s stuff.
I credit that eight years of grammar school with nourishing me in a direction where I could trust myself and trust my instincts. They gave me the tools to reject my faith. They taught me to question and think for myself and to believe in my instincts to such an extent that I just said, This is a wonderful fairy tale they have going here, but it's not for me.
Have you ever noticed that the lawyer always smiles more than the client?
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
When people say “clean as a whistle”, they forget that a whistle is full of spit.