George Carlin
George Carlin
George Denis Patrick Carlinwas an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic and author. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. Carlin and his "Seven dirty words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 5–4 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth12 May 1937
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game. Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.
And, of course, the funniest food: "kumquats". I don't even bring them home anymore. I sit there laughing and they go to waste.
The base of evil in the world is religion of any kind
There's this man who lives in the sky, and he has ten things he doesn't want you to do, and you'll burn for a long time if you do them. But he loves you.
You're really spread out now, you've got stuff all over the WORLD! You've got stuff at home, stuff in storage, stuff in Honolulu, stuff in Maui, stuff in your pockets...supply lines are getting longer and harder to maintain.
Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
And speaking of sex, the Immaculate Conception does not mean Jesus was conceived in the absence of sex. It means Mary was conceived without Original Sin. That's all it has ever meant. And according to the tabloids, Mary is apparently the only one who can make such a claim. The Jesus thing is called virgin birth.
A scary dream makes your heart beat faster. Why doesn't the part of your brain that controls your heartbeat realize that another part of your brain is making the whole thing up? Don't these people communicate?
Movies and television don't make you violent; all they do is channel the violence more creatively.
Leadership camp? Isn't that where Hitler went?
You show me something that doesn't cause cancer, and I'll show you something that isn't on the market yet.
I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
Whever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.
The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.