Ellen DeGeneres
Ellen DeGeneres
Ellen Lee DeGeneres is an American comedian, television host, actress, writer, and producer. Degeneres starred in the popular sitcom Ellen from 1994 to 1998, and has hosted her syndicated TV talk show, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, since 2003...
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth26 January 1958
CityMetairie, LA
funny humor eye
The good psychic would pick up the phone before it rang. Of course it is possible there was noone on the other line. Once she said "God Bless you" I said, "I didn't sneeze" She looked deep into my eyes and said, "You will, eventually." And damn it if she wasn't right. Two days later I sneezed.
funny humor procrastination
All we have is here and now. That's why procrastination feels so right. Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution.
thinking snakes legends
The legend goes that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland. I was thinking... that must be hard to put all the tiny seatbelts on all the snakes.
exercise want jogging
Everybody always resolves to start exercising, but they never do. You know why ? Because it's January. Who wants to go jogging in the freezing cold ?
coffee men drink
I've always said, I like my coffee like I like my men... I don't drink coffee.
party world mail
Did you ever feel like the whole world was going to a party and your invitation got lost in the mail?
technology reality phones
So excited for the Apple Watch. For centuries, we've checked the time by looking at our phones. Having it on your wrist? Genius.
funny humor tired
You say you`re sick and tired of hearing about me? I've got news for you: I`M sick and tired of hearing about me.
funny dog humor
My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you're kidding?... Noooo... as funny as that is, I'm not
class careers attention
The stand up, everything was accidental. I never grew up and was the class clown and had to get the attention. It was - it really is, I have a career despite myself.
reason enjoy ifs
For some reason, we can't just enjoy somebody else's success. Somehow, that's going to affect us. If they have more, then I have less - and I don't know why.
hate animal meditation
I hate having to do small talk. I'd rather talk about deep subjects. I'd rather talk about meditation, or the world, or the trees or animals, than small, inane, you know, banter.
funny letting-go humor
I think I let go of the need for approval, ... It certainly feels good when you get it, but I used to be more desperate for it. Once I felt better inside about myself ... I could do everything based on how I want to do things.
funny humor mean
Come on, if you don't win tonight it doesn't mean you're not a good person, it just means you're not a good actor.