Dennis Miller
Dennis Miller
Dennis Milleris an American stand-up comedian, talk show host, political commentator, sports commentator, actor, television personality, and radio personality...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth3 November 1953
CityPittsburgh, PA
CountryUnited States of America
football awful today
Is it just me, or are the 49ers doing an awful lot of ass-patting today?
football weed two
Hey Deion, Bubbelah - maybe you'd better pay a little less attention to those unfairly Draconian salary caps that only allowed you to acquire four of the five remaining 1932 Aston Martins still in road-worthy condition after you'd paid for life's little necessities like hookers and weed, get your medulla oblongata out of your duodenum for a few milliseconds, and make a tackle or two, okay, Babe?
football night espresso
Their offense is shakier than Katherine Hepburn after an all-night espresso bender at Starbucks.
football mean moon
When the hell is Warren Moon going to retire? I mean, this guy is older than the cuneiform in Nebuchadnezzar's tomb.
football sleep hair
Check out the helmet hair on Randy Moss, babe! He looks like some freakish anti-Mr. T after a long evening sleeping through 'Aida.'
football uncles kids
That kid's got an arm like Uncle Fester at an exhibition of Pre-Colombian... um, Christ, I lost it. I was going for something thick. So what's with the beard, Grizzly Fouts?
football 4th-of-july fire
Nervous? He's tighter than Pat Buchanan's sphincter muscle at a 4th of July soiree on Fire Island.
jobs funny-work errors
A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to 35 and your job still requires you wear a nametag, you've probably made a serious vocational error.
years data differences
There's a lot of differing data [about global warming], but as far as I can gather, over the last hundred years the temperature on this planet has gone up 1.8 degrees. Am I the only one who finds that amazingly stable? I could go back to my hotel room tonight and futz with the thermostat for three to four hours. I could not detect that difference.
home nuts rooms
It's your living room, it's your life, go nuts. You like Home Improvement? Tape it and go over it like it's the Zapruder film.
war blow mouths
I'll say this about the war protesters: At least most of them are only putting duct tape across their mouths so I can still tell the rest of them to blow it out their ass.
football player hell
Concussion? How the hell can they tell? They're *football* players, for chrissakes!
football hey cunninghams
Hey, Cunningham - Andy Warhol called. You're at 14:55 and we're tickin' big-time here, Chachi.
football alaska snow
Of *course* he needs to renegotiate his salary - the guy buys more snow than Seward did when he bought Alaska from the Russians.