Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin
Demetri Evan Martinis an American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist. He is best known for his work as a stand-up comedian, being a contributor on The Daily Show, and his Comedy Central show Important Things with Demetri Martin...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 May 1973
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
interesting refrigerators magnet
Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.
annoying know-it-all persons
A know-it-all is a person who knows everything except for how annoying he is.
funny morning believe
I like to use 'I Can't Believe it's Not Butter' on my toast in the morning, because sometimes when I eat breakfast, I like to be incredulous. How was breakfast? Unbelievable.
space eyebrows space-between
Relationships, like eyebrows, are better when there is space between them.
jesus funny-christmas shopping
I set a personal record on Christmas. I got my shopping done three weeks ahead of time. I had all the presents back at my apartment, I was halfway through wrapping them, and I realized, 'Damn, I used the wrong wrapping paper.' The paper I used said, 'Happy Birthday.' I didn't want to waste it, so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.
party thinking numbers
Palindromes are the number one conversation stopper, like party killer, I think I've ever seen.
feelings snapshots kind
I love catching a snapshot of something that is just about to happen. Or maybe something that just happened, you know. But I like especially that just-before kind of feeling.
summer school home
For example, I was a White House intern the summer before I dropped out of law school. Everybody knew about it. I'd come home and go to church and everybody would say, 'Oh, my God. Demetri, you're working at the White House.'
funny im-sorry humor
When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.
running children doors
The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door.
napkins shirts
I find that a shirt is most similar to a napkin when I don't have a napkin.
thinking people bird
I think statues are great; they show what great people would look like if a bird sh*t all over them.
country people ifs
People only mention it's a free country if they're doing something shitty.
keys balance ledges
The key to life is balance, especially if you are on a ledge.