Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin
Demetri Evan Martinis an American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist. He is best known for his work as a stand-up comedian, being a contributor on The Daily Show, and his Comedy Central show Important Things with Demetri Martin...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 May 1973
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
funny humor saws
I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said 'Guess'.
wise aprons printed
Nothing wise was ever printed upon an apron.
school law interesting
I went to law school. I found it interesting for the first three weeks.
funny humor people
A lot of people don't like bumper stickers. I don't mind bumper stickers. To me a bumper sticker is a shortcut. It's like a little sign that says 'Hey, let's never hang out.'
trying done excited
I'm always excited to try something I haven't done.
school law president
I was student council president in high school, and even in law school, I was vice-president of the student bar association.
track important knows
I just know keeping track of what I'm doing and where I'm going is important to me.
powerful names way
Easy way to make someone sound less powerful, just put DJ in front of their name... ..DJ Abraham Lincoln
men futons deathbed
Let no man's deathbed be a futon.
party animal hey
I like parties, but I don't like pinatas, because the pinata promotes violence against flamboyant animals: 'Hey, there's a donkey with some pizzaz. Let's kick his ass!'
structure figures multiple
They say that structure is freedom, and in a sense it is. When you're dealing with multiple constraints, you have to figure out what you can get out of that.
stupid trying bananas
Whenever I try to spell 'banana,' I feel stupid because I don't know when to end it.
ties bows rattlesnakes
Everybody knew that you should never provoke a rattlesnake, much less tie it into a bow. But that didn't stop Judd. What did stop him was the rattlesnake.
suicide bridges killers
Suicide is the #1 killer of a person who is in a boat and happens to be passing under a bridge at the wrong time.