David Letterman
David Letterman
David Michael Lettermanis an American former television talk show host, comedian, and producer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth12 April 1947
CityIndianapolis, IN
CountryUnited States of America
talking bills said
They're talking about putting a woman on the $20 bill. And Hillary said, 'I'm available.'
thinking people laughing
I don't like stand-up comedy that requires a lot of props. I really respect people who can walk out onstage alone and with no other tool but their own minds and can make you laugh and maybe even think a little.
kids thinking people
Privately I think that I'm not really somebody who has a network television show. Celebrities are other people - Johnny Carson and Sylvester Stallone. I'm just a kid trying to make a living is the way I feel.
beer eight class
One of the remarkable things about being 19 is that you can break open a case of warm beer at midnight and still be wide-eyed and alert for your eight-a.m. class. And that gave me the false impression that my life would always be like that.
social-values talent redeeming
I have talents aplenty. Unfortunately, precious few of them have any redeeming social value.
sex new-york differences
I don't like jokes about sex or bodily functions or drug use or the difference between New York and L.A. I never do any of that.
leader minorities want
Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid says he will not seek re-election. Harry said he wants to spend more time with his family. As I always say, check with your family.
chess enough
There just isn't enough televised Chess
jobs iowa people
Hillary Clinton is now in Iowa. She's spending every waking minute of her day meeting ordinary people, and it's to prepare her for a job in which she will never again meet an ordinary person.
black sun size
Scientists have discovered a black hole that is 12 billion times the size of our sun. It's full of Hillary Clinton emails.
believe oil government
I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon at 15% isn't.
america political alive
My political position is that I'm happy to be alive and in North America.
running should-have president
Jeb Bush may run for President. Bush presidencies are like 'Caddyshack' movies. They should have stopped with one.
funny-valentines-day together beets
Valentine's Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th.