David Letterman
David Letterman
David Michael Lettermanis an American former television talk show host, comedian, and producer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth12 April 1947
CityIndianapolis, IN
CountryUnited States of America
iran work-out trying
President Obama's trying to work out a nuclear deal with Iran, and the Republicans are steamed. They got together and sent Iran a letter about the nuclear deal. They said if this doesn't work, by God, they're going to send Seth Rogen and James Franco.
believe thinking iran
The ayatollah in Iran says he believes that he got the letter, but he thinks he accidentally threw it out with his Crate & Barrel catalog.
eye study osama-bin-laden
They found a scrapbook with photos of Osama bin Laden from the '90s, and they're studying each and every photo very, very closely. My favorite shot of Osama bin Laden was right between the eyes.
reading email vow
Instead of reading vows at the wedding ceremony, they read hacked Sony emails.
brother looks brooks
I always liked Mitt Romney. He looks like the salesman who follows you around at Brooks Brothers.
thinking president schwarzenegger
Arnold Schwarzenegger met with President Bush. It's amazing if you think about it. It was the Terminator and the One-Term-inator.
worst-enemy airline passengers
United Airlines: Passengers are our worst enemy. We're not too fond of luggage either.
hurt numbers necks
Number one: Don't frisk me. Don't hurt me physically. Don't get anywhere near my neck. And don't call me Regis.
team party today
Today would have been the birthday of Osama bin Laden. It makes me remember when Seal Team 6 threw him a surprise party.
country squad utah
Because Utah is largely Mormon country, the firing squad's a little different. You're blindfolded but no cigarette.
retirement utah squad
Now in Utah if you get the death sentence, they have the firing squad. In Russia, they call that early retirement.
yesterday issues giving
Yesterday was not only daylight saving time, but also International Women's Day. What better way to address the issue of inequality for women than giving them a day that's missing an hour.
navy problem obesity
Obesity is now a problem in the navy. They've created a new rank: Really Big Rear Admiral.
new-york good-luck cities
Good luck finding a place to park in New York City. And when you do, good luck figuring out the parking signs, restrictions, and prohibitions. It is so complicated. It has gotten so bad, I never park my car without a lawyer.