Dane Cook
Dane Cook
Dane Jeffrey Cookis an American stand-up comedian and film actor. He has released five comedy albums: Harmful If Swallowed; Retaliation; Vicious Circle; Rough Around The Edges: Live From Madison Square Garden; and Isolated Incident. In 2006, Retaliation became the highest charting comedy album in 28 years and went platinum. He performed an HBO special in the Fall of 2006, Vicious Circle, a straight-to-DVD special titled Rough Around The Edges, and a Comedy Central special in 2009 titled Isolated Incident. He...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth18 March 1972
CityCambridge, MA
CountryUnited States of America
Saw a lost dog sign with a pic of the dog and a little boy hugging it. I'm assuming the kids safe and we're just focusing on the pooch.
Some people give you that motivation to work harder simply to get the hell away from wherever they are.
If you live far away from a person you no longer want to date just let them know that they are geographically undesirable.
You know you're lazy when you run out of toilet paper and use the cardboard roll to wipe with.
Why do bad guys in movies always love to whistle really slowly?
I'm curious by individuals that embrace half a story so they can justify how incomplete they feel about their own self worth.
Someone needs to make a zombie movie where when you get bit it turns you into a singing and dancing extraordinaire.
You know your girls up to no good when her and her friends make a pact to post nothing on Instagram.
I'm really great in other peoples relationships.
I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.
It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.
Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
Three weeks ago one of my dreams came true. I finally got to see something I always wanted to witness live. I finally saw someone get hit by a car... Nailed!
A lot of comics are kind of vampire types; we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I'm going to go out there and shake hands.