Dane Cook

Dane Cook
Dane Jeffrey Cookis an American stand-up comedian and film actor. He has released five comedy albums: Harmful If Swallowed; Retaliation; Vicious Circle; Rough Around The Edges: Live From Madison Square Garden; and Isolated Incident. In 2006, Retaliation became the highest charting comedy album in 28 years and went platinum. He performed an HBO special in the Fall of 2006, Vicious Circle, a straight-to-DVD special titled Rough Around The Edges, and a Comedy Central special in 2009 titled Isolated Incident. He...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth18 March 1972
CityCambridge, MA
CountryUnited States of America
My real first job was delivering newspapers with I was 15. I would ride my bike around and chuck papers at people's houses. The thing that sucked is when I would go collecting everyone acted like they were not home. Totally sucked but because I could control the weather I showered trashcan size hail down on their homes until they were completely decimated.
When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.
Let's talk a little about love. Sometimes you meet somebody and you have what is known as a relationship and things can go great. If things go great you have a great relationship. Sometimes it doesn't go so great and I call that a relationshit!
When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love on like the same day - even Karen the douche bag falls in love! Even retarded people in your neighborhood are getting married on their front lawn as you drive by, “What? The 'tards just got married on their lawn. That's great! I have nobody, and the 'tards just committed to each other for a lifetime of 'tardiness”.
Comedy is immediate. Comedy is a solo mission. You're all by yourself, up there. And when you're in a film, on a set, it's a collaborative effort. It's about me being a tool for somebody else to create a story and a character from nothing, from their imagination.
I was not a silly kid or outgoing. In fact, I suffered from quite a bit of anxiety. I used to have panic attacks when I was a teenager, really incapacitating moments, because I had some phobias.
Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.
Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.
I think there's a definite template for what can be done for the future, but I'm not going to call myself a trailblazer. It didn't seem like a big idea to me: Let people know you appreciate their loyalty, and you say thank you. I was just doing what those punk bands did with fliers. Stand on the corner and say 'Come check us out.' Instead of fliers, it was going to be instant messages and e-mails.
I have to say I'm a massive fan of yours
I never wanted to be pigeonholed as one style of comedy. I want to be the kind of person you have a random back-and-forth with at a party. So that if you go to my show I could take irreverent, I could take subtle, I could take slapstick - pretty much anything I could think of that would be entertaining - and my audience would be with me.
I'm practically crying between takes every day, we're laughing so hard.
I won't take no for a question.