Christopher Moore
Christopher Moore
dog winter sharks
Winter near the shore is cold. The wind kicks up a salty mist and elephant seals come to shore to trumpet and rut and birth their pups. Retired people put sweaters on their lap dogs and drag them down the street on retractable leashes in a nightly parade of doggy humiliation. Surfers don their wetsuits against the chill of storm waves and white sharks adjust their diets to include shrink-wrapped dude-snacks on fiberglass crackers.
bulletproof hard
Hope is bulletproof, truth just hard to hit
bruises
Don't bruise the Foo!
baby sophie might
She pulled down the blanket and aimed baby Sophie's bottom at him like she might unleash a fusillade of weapons-grade poopage such as the guileless Beta Male had never seen.
deaf
I fink I gots deaf on me willie.
real people fabric
I am convinced by the events of the last few weeks that nefarious forces of people--unidentified but no less real--are threatening life as we know it, and in fact, may be bent on unraveling the very fabric of our existence.
trying ifs knows
All fear comes from trying to see the future, Biff. If you know what is coming, you aren't afraid.
looks look-up wells
Everyone is happier if they have someone else to look down on, as well as someone to look up to, especially if they resent both.
self world bunch
Most of us don't live our lives with one, integrated self that meets the world, we're a whole bunch of selves.
evoke puritanism
Nothing evokes the prurient like puritanism.
fall sarcasm
Sarcasm will make your tits fall off.
language said hawaiians
Ooo ahe-e, I aya oa a," she said in yawnspeak, a language - not unlike Hawaiian - known for its paucity of consonants.
long scary let-it-go
That's the scary thing about hope," she said. "If you let it go too long it turns into faith.
justice tangled world
In fact, he sorely hoped that it would happen, because otherwise, the world made no sense, there was no justice, and life was just a tangled ball of chaos.