Christopher Moore
Christopher Moore
order sick irony
Love: the sickest of Irony’s sick jokes. The place where logic and order go to die.
reading population looks
Do we look like thrill-seekers? Wasn't it enough that we had to put up that sign reading NO HABLA ESPANOL and acknowledge the existence of thirty percent of the population, even in the negative?
doors dragons nuts
The problem with being nuts, she thought, is that you don't always feel as if you're nuts. Sometimes, in fact, you feel perfectly sane, and there just happens to be a trailer-shaped dragon crouching in the lot next door.
dog winter sharks
Winter near the shore is cold. The wind kicks up a salty mist and elephant seals come to shore to trumpet and rut and birth their pups. Retired people put sweaters on their lap dogs and drag them down the street on retractable leashes in a nightly parade of doggy humiliation. Surfers don their wetsuits against the chill of storm waves and white sharks adjust their diets to include shrink-wrapped dude-snacks on fiberglass crackers.
bulletproof hard
Hope is bulletproof, truth just hard to hit
bruises
Don't bruise the Foo!
baby sophie might
She pulled down the blanket and aimed baby Sophie's bottom at him like she might unleash a fusillade of weapons-grade poopage such as the guileless Beta Male had never seen.
deaf
I fink I gots deaf on me willie.
real people fabric
I am convinced by the events of the last few weeks that nefarious forces of people--unidentified but no less real--are threatening life as we know it, and in fact, may be bent on unraveling the very fabric of our existence.
trying ifs knows
All fear comes from trying to see the future, Biff. If you know what is coming, you aren't afraid.
looks look-up wells
Everyone is happier if they have someone else to look down on, as well as someone to look up to, especially if they resent both.
self world bunch
Most of us don't live our lives with one, integrated self that meets the world, we're a whole bunch of selves.
evoke puritanism
Nothing evokes the prurient like puritanism.
fall sarcasm
Sarcasm will make your tits fall off.