Christopher Moore
Christopher Moore
sex hands survivor
...as if someone had thrown a hand grenade into the middle of a teddy bear orgy and the only survivors had had their fur blown off.
brain furniture eating
No one knows why, but second only to eating the brains of the living, the dead love affordable prefab furniture.
giving values
The value of the work we do is the value we give to it.
sorry light bats
The bat was looking at Theo and Theo was having trouble following his own thoughts.The bat was wearing tiny sunglasses.Ray Bans,Theo could see by the trademark in the corner of one lens."I'm sorry, Mr.,uh- Case, could you take the bat off your head.It's very distracting." Him." Pardon?" It's a him.Roberto.He no like the light.
etc groups shut-up
Cofishes-other fish in a group, coworkers, cohorts, etc. Shut up, it's a word.
nice rehab lasts
Last time I really got to know myself it turned out there was a whole gang of bitches in there to deal with. I felt like the receptionist at a rehab center. They all had nice tits though, I gotta say.
one-day circus rolling
One day the good times had to keep on rolling, and all of life's horseshit would turn to circuses.
real two giving
Perhaps there is a reason that there is no fool piece on the chessboard. What action, a fool? What strategy, a fool? What use, a fool? Ah, but a fool resides in a deck of cards, a joker, sometimes two. Of no worth, of course. No real purpose. The appearance of a trump, but none of the power: Simply an instrument of chance. Only a dealer may give value to the joker.
beast dear
The prospect of change is a many-fanged beast, my dear.
lice harem
I've seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores.
tantrums machines aliens
She was an alien, really - a sort of eating, pooping, tantrum machine - and he didn't understand anything about her species.
order sick irony
Love: the sickest of Irony’s sick jokes. The place where logic and order go to die.
reading population looks
Do we look like thrill-seekers? Wasn't it enough that we had to put up that sign reading NO HABLA ESPANOL and acknowledge the existence of thirty percent of the population, even in the negative?
doors dragons nuts
The problem with being nuts, she thought, is that you don't always feel as if you're nuts. Sometimes, in fact, you feel perfectly sane, and there just happens to be a trailer-shaped dragon crouching in the lot next door.