Christopher Moore
Christopher Moore
differences people drunk
Don't drive drunk. Ever. Don't shag anyone you don't like, or who doesn't like you. Get a look at how people live in a place where you don't. Suffering is over-rated, don't pursue it. Ask for help when you need it, don't when you don't, and learn to recognize the difference. Don't confuse movement and progress. Be kind. Be forgiving. Pay attention.
daughter said charlie
So I am death" Charlie said then turned to his daughter while buttering his toast. "This is death toast sweety.
doctors waiting-rooms boring
The netherworld is timeless and unchanging, and boring -- much like a doctor's waiting room.
cheese crackers wanted
He wanted her to experience all the glorious cheese of life.
real grief sorrow
There's a fine edge to new grief, it severs nerves, disconnects reality--there's mercy in a sharp blade. Only with time, as the edge wears, does the real ache begin.
teacher children school
As a teacher of fourth-graders in a public school, where corporal punishement was not allowed, she had years of violence stored up and was, truth be told, sort of enjoying letting it out on Kona, who she felt could have been the poster child for the failure of public education.
time-travel knows
It's like time travel only, you know, slower...
jesus what-if important
... but to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, 'What if Jesus had known kung fu?
thinking vampire agree
Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong.
law vampire cop
Only cops and vampires have to have an invitation to enter.
gains empty eternity
The pursuit of material gain is ultimately empty when measured against eternity.
coffee blood evil
She knew it should bother her more, being evil and all, but after she put on a little mascara and some lipstick and poured herself another cup of blood-laced coffee, she found that she was okay with it.
mother hero dark
For a while he'd tried molding himself into the tragic Romantic hero, brooding and staring clench-jawed off into space as he composed dark verse in his head. But it turned out that trying to appear tragic in Incontinence, Indiana, was redundant, and his mother kept shouting at him and making him forget his rhymes. "Tommy, if you keep grinding your teeth like that, they'll wear away and you'll have to have dentures like Aunt Ester." Tommy only wished his beard was as heavy as Aunt Ester's---then he could stare out over the moors while he stroked it pensively.
house suffering wake-up
Sweetheart, wake up; you've destroyed the house and I need you to suffer for it.