Christopher Moore
Christopher Moore
children people teeth
Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There’s no such place.
names towns said
What is your name?" asked Lear. Caius," said Kent. And whence do you hail?" From Bonking, sire." Well, yes, lad, as do we all," said Lear, "but from what town?
bells ribbons cold
Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe.
pain rejection black
And an inky-colored despair of rejection enveloped me like the black tortilla of depression around a pain burrito.
science magic looks
Science, you don't know, looks like magic.
perfect guy nobodys-perfect
Nobody's perfect. Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him....
grandmother self turkeys
[in reference to turkey bowling] He [Tommy] squinted and picked his target, then took his steps and sent the bird sliding down the aisle. A collective gasp rose from the crew as the fourteen-pound, self-basting, fresh-frozen projectile of wholesome savory goodness plowed into the soap bottles like a freight train into a chorus line of drunken grandmothers.
song art prayer
Regardless of its purpose, the humpback-whale song is the most complex piece of nonhuman composition on earth. Whether it's art, prayer, or booty call, the humpback song is an amazing thing to experience firsthand, and I suspect that even once the science of it is put to bed, it will remain, as long as they sing, magic.
pants breakfast seven
I was seven before I realized that you could eat breakfast with your pants on.
couple giving guy
Normally if I met a guy who was unemployed and illiterate who hadn't bathed in a couple of weeks, I'd be standing in a puddle with excitement, but I'm sort of in a bad mood tonight, so take this bag and give me the fu**ing paper before I pop your head like a zit. He said, you're a lesbian, aren't you?
imagination
Faith isn't an act of intelligence, it's an act of imagination.
slime
In business, as in politics, the public is ever so tolerant of those who slime.
thinking insanity enough
If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them.
thinking keys insanity
If you think anyone is sane you just don’t know enough about them. The key — and this is very relevant in our case — is to find someone whose insanity dovetails with your own.