Chris Rock
Chris Rock
Christopher Julius "Chris" Rock III is an American comedian, actor, and producer...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth7 February 1965
CityAndrews, SC
jesus years nerves
We Americans commercialize everything. Look at what we did to Christmas. Christmas is Jesus' birthday. Now, I don't know Jesus, but from what I read he was the least materialistic person who ever walked the earth. No bling on Jesus. He kept a low profile and we turned his birthday into the most commercial day of the year. In fact we have a whole Jesus birthday season. And then at the end of it, we have the nerve to have an economist come on TV and say what a horrible Jesus birthday season we had.
jobs kids people
You know, you get famous and you work in these weird jobs and you don't have a lot in common with people. But once you have kids, you have everything in common with everybody.
funny hollywood
Hollywood's just not funny.
funny humor ghetto
I just thought everybody lived around abandoned buildings and crack-heads, ... I lived in the ghetto until I was like 19. I came to Los Angeles, stayed at hotels and stuff. When I got back and I saw what my neighborhood looked like, I started getting scared.
funny humor liquor-stores
Not a Harvard-type education, ... Just a not-sticking-up-a-liquor-store-type education.
funny running humor
I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid runs out, 'Wait, save me!'
funny humor thinking
Actually, I think all addiction starts with soda. Every junkie did soda first. But no one counts that. Maybe they should. The soda connection is clear. Why isn't a presidential commission looking into this? Or at least some guys from the National Carbonation Council.
hate mean kids
All people naturally hate. My kid bites people now. I didn't teach my kid to bite anybody. Kids say mean stuff. Only through love do we get this evil out of them. Only through love and structure and discipline do they not hate. The kids that hate didn't learn anything, that's the problem.
past thinking pussy
I took my AlDS test. You start reflecting... You start thinking about every nasty, skank-ass... It's like the movie Scrooge, and the Ghost of Pussy Past comes.
mean stuff turns
If you live below your means, you can turn down stuff all the time.
cat names furniture
A cat, by any other name, is still a sneaky little furball that barfs on the furniture.
mom country dad
I am just here to support the President of the United States. President of the United States is our boss, but he is also... you know, the President and the First Lady are kinda like the Mom and the Dad of the country. And when your Dad says something you listen, and when you don't it will usually bite you on the ass later on. So, I'm here to support the President.
funny jobs fall
Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.
mother thinking people
You're not famous unless people's mothers know who you are. Everybody else, you think you're famous, but you're just hot, and heat cools off.