Bill Bailey
Bill Bailey
Mark Robert "Bill" Baileyis an English comedian, musician, actor, TV and radio presenter and author. Bailey is well known for his role in Black Books and for his appearances on Never Mind the Buzzcocks, Have I Got News for You, and QI as well as his extensive stand-up work...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth13 January 1965
CityBath, England
funny humor magazines
I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine
funny mother humor
Yes. Yes, when we live our life like 1950s detective films. I often go to my fridge, "Hullo, we're out of milk. I say mother, where's the milk?"
funny humor thank-god
Thank God for Darwin, eh?
funny horse humor
A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "Why the long face?". The horse replies: "I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."
three outcomes blokes
Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!!
funny humor people
Why do people want to swim with dolphins? The equivalent would be an Indonesian fellow coming over here, going up to a farmer and saying 'Can I get in with the cows? I just fancy scuffling about with them.'
burning dollars bitter
I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars... I'm not bitter at all...
beautiful vintage guitar
My wife bought me a vintage Gibson guitar that isn't just beautiful but has tremendous sentimental value. I have plenty of guitars for live gigs but this is one to treasure.
funny humor past
This was my attempt to deter cold callers: "There's no past, there's no future, just one pulsating present... Please leave your message after the tone."
funny keyboards sound
Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard
ham hamsters
I got ham but I'm not a Hamster
meat vegetarian modern
I'm a post-modern vegetarian. I eat meat ironically.
funny humor sharks
Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.
stupid three littles
Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.